For many years I have bounced around–up and down, in and out, right and left, letting no grass grow under my feet or dust settle in my brain. I ran hither and yon, exploring and experimenting…
And then I didn’t.
I had finished collecting higher education degrees, gotten the job, bought the house with the white picket fence and flower garden, and settled into a life of quiet mediocrity. I mimicked a bear in wintertime and became a human hibernator who viewed her life from across the street or down the block. I saw who I was and what I did through the eyes of other people, and that became good enough.
I settled in and bought an SUV, worked a 9-5, and wore sweat pants. All my furniture matched and I was even thinking about buying a goldfish. When I caught a glimpse of that person, I recoiled at the reality that, that person was me.
What had happened??? Where did I go?
The two things that I had been committed to and that had kept me on my toes with the wind at my back were gone. I sold my BMW convertible and my cantankerous, old canine had crossed the bridge. Both losses changed my life profoundly and transported me into the infamous, and much dreaded by me, phase/phrase of, ‘hangin’ in there’.
I reacquainted, on Facebook, with a friend from one of my oldest previous lives, and it was through our conversation that I realized I had opted out of being who I was. I had stopped living up to my life’s potential; a potential that I had fought hard, long, and painfully to create, and had cost me dearly in the process. Fortunately, it was only a brief hiatus.
I am now on a mission to clean house, literally and figuratively.
I have opened the windows, saged and blessed my space, bought fresh flowers, and light a coven of candles. I broke out the old jewelry and donned the million dollar pair of zapatos that had remained in the box since being delivered too long ago. I burned my sweats in the fire pit.
I am shaking the cobwebs outta my soul.
Starting tomorrow, I will once again be sitting behind the wheel of a new, white convertible and riding with the wind at my back. And, who knows, maybe that little machine will take me to find my new furry sidekick.